Can you have a bachelorette party if you elope?
The definition of a bachelorette party is “a party for a woman who is about to be married, usually attended by women only.”
Being that an elopement is absolutely a wedding, it sounds to me like YES, you can have a bachelorette party even if you elope! In fact, this is a wonderful way to include loved ones in your elopement.
While having an elopement bachelorette party is a great idea and it’s becoming more and more common, there are a few nuances you should consider and be aware of.
Who Plans the Bachelorette Party?
Traditionally, bridesmaids or perhaps just the Maid of Honor plan the bride’s bachelorette party. When it comes to elopements, though, where there’s typically no bridal party, things aren’t quite as straightforward. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing! You can use it as a fun opportunity to buck what tradition says about bach parties and plan it as a group.
You may also want to have a conversation with female family members or a best friend and ask for their feedback — or even tell them outright that you want to have a bachelorette party. After all, who wouldn’t want to celebrate leaving singledom behind and stepping into life as a married woman with her friends?! There’s an excellent chance that hosting it has already crossed a few minds, but your girls may be unsure of what the protocol is since there is no wedding party. Don’t be afraid to have that conversation!
Is it ok to plan your own bachelorette party?
Building on what we just discussed, remember that there are no hard-and-fast rules when it comes to whether you can have a bachelorette party if you elope — or who hosts it. It’s extremely likely that your gals want to celebrate with you but are genuinely unsure of bachelorette party etiquette when it comes to elopements. Having said that, it’s perfectly okay to plan your bach party yourself (heck, it may even take some pressure off your friends and family!).
If you do go this route, it’s extremely important to lay out clear expectations. What exactly is everyone responsible for, who pays for what (more on that in a minute), and what exactly is your role as the bride-to-be? Taking the time to make sure everyone is on the same page about this from the beginning will help avoid misunderstandings and uncomfortable conversations later on.
Who pays for the bachelorette party?
Traditionally, bachelorette party attendees are responsible for covering their own expenses, whether that entails flights and a hotel for an out-of-town bash or dinner and drinks locally. Everyone in attendance generally splits the cost of the bride’s expenses, and the Maid of Honor typically pays for bachelorette party favors.
For the most part, you can expect about the same from an elopement bachelorette party — with one major exception. Brides who are eloping shouldn’t expect their bach party guests to foot their bill, particularly if there are no guests invited to the wedding. While many women will be happy to chip in toward the bride’s expenses, some people have a more traditional viewpoint and think bachelorette parties should really only be for women actually attending the wedding. Remember earlier when I recommended having an honest conversation with attendees? This is why!
It’s still totally reasonable to expect that each attendee will cover her own expenses. When it comes to yours, plan to pay your own way and if you end up pleasantly surprised, that’s just a fun bonus! Treat it like a celebratory night (or weekend) out with your girlfriends rather than a traditional bachelorette party so that either way, you’ll have the time of your life.
How much should you spend on a bachelorette party?
The type of bachelorette party you want to have largely dictates how much it will cost. According to The Knot, a one-day event (think a night of dinner, drinks, and dancing in your city or a champagne brunch followed by spa treatments) costs $150-300 per person, on average.
Of course, if multiple days are involved and you’re booking flights and/or hotels — even in your own town — the costs increase substantially. As a general rule of thumb, each attendee should anticipate spending around $1,000 for a 2-3 day bachelorette party weekend.
I highly recommend chatting with all guests individually to find out what their budget is. This way, no one’s answer can potentially be influenced by what someone else in the group said. Understand that everyone will likely have vastly different budgets and offer up a few options to suit them all.
Should you bring a gift to a bachelorette party?
Since attendees cover their own expenses to attend a bachelorette party, the bride shouldn’t necessarily expect to receive gifts — and certainly not extravagant ones. Many bach party guests do like to bring a small, celebratory little something, though, so here are a few fun gifts ideas.
Bachelorette party gift ideas for the bride
Does the bride give gifts at the bachelorette party?
Brides do not generally give attendees gifts at their bachelorette party. What’s far more common, at traditional bach parties anyway, is that the Maid of Honor or other hostess gives out favor bags filled with little goodies. This is a great way to show your appreciation for everyone attending! If someone is already organizing goodie bags, you can offer to pitch in.
Bachelorette party gift ideas for attendees
When should you have a bachelorette party?
The best time to have a bachelorette party is anywhere from one to four months before your wedding date, with the sweet spot being two to three months in advance. Particularly if you’re also inviting any of the guests to your elopement, this allows plenty of time for everyone to budget appropriately and coordinate time off of work.
What to do for a bachelorette party
One of the best things about bachelorette parties is that there’s truly no “right” way to do them! Activities should primarily center around the bride’s interests, while also taking into account everyone else’s budgets.
During the planning process, get everyone in on it and be open to feedback and willing to compromise. For example, if the bride loves wine and you want to plan a big wine weekend away but a couple of guests don’t quite have the budget for that, plan an elaborate night in and sleepover, complete with charcuterie, wine tastings, and brunch out the next morning. The bride will still love it, everyone will have a great time, and it fits everyone’s budget requirements (not to mention doesn’t require that anyone take vacation days or book flights!).
Here are several fun suggestions for what to do for a bachelorette party:
A night out on the town
Vineyard hopping
Attend a cocktail class
Go camping
Pole dancing class
Comedy show
Paint & wine party
A night in
Spa day
Go to a music festival
Where to go for a bachelorette party in the United States
If you’re considering a destination bachelorette party, the sky really is the limit. I recommend choosing a place that’s somewhat central to all the guests or particularly accessible with a large airport.
Top 10 locations:
Las Vegas, NV - The classic bach party destination
Miami, FL - For beach lovers and gals who enjoy dancing the night away
Nashville, TN - A major bachelorette destination with tons of live music and endless activities
Palm Springs, CA - Head to SoCal for a laid-back weekend spent poolside and getting spa treatments
Scottsdale, AZ - Year-round sunshine, resorts galore, the best Mexican food around, hiking, and amazing nightlife
Savannah, GA - Lots of historical sites and Southern charm, plus an abundance of hip speakeasies
New Orleans, LA - A foodie’s paradise with LOTS of things to see and do
Charleston, SC - History, coastline, great food, amazing spas…Charleston has it all!
Napa Valley, CA - Wine lovers’ weekend
Kauai, HI - Adventure meets paradise on this lush island filled with hiking and water activities
Who do you invite to a bachelorette party?
As with most aspects of bachelorette parties, there’s no set rule here. With traditional weddings, the most common bach party invitees are the bridesmaids and a handful of female family members and friends. The number of guests should be dictated by the type of party you want — if you’re picturing a rowdy weekend in Vegas, invite everyone, but if you’re imagining a low-key brunch and spa day, it may be best to invite just a select few gals.
How early should you send invitations?
And as far as when to invite people to your bachelorette party, the sooner the better. Remember, you want to give everyone plenty of advance notice to make travel plans, request time off work, and budget appropriately.
Regardless of the type of bachelorette party you end up having, enjoy every second! Also, if you’re still in the planning stages, have you considered hiring an elopement photographer to capture it? Many, like myself, shoot a wide variety of non-traditional events outside of just elopements! Contact me today and let’s chat about your plans!