Is it Okay to Set up a Gift Registry if You’re Eloping?
Whether you’re planning your own elopement or you have family members or friends who are eloping, you may be wondering about the etiquette of elopement gifts. Is it okay to send one? Is it okay not to send one? Is it socially acceptable to set up an elopement registry? Yes, yes, and yes!
Much like elopements themselves, the rules surrounding elopement registries and elopement gifts are pretty relaxed. Where gifts are 100% expected at traditional weddings (and the associated bridal showers and bachelorette parties), there is no expectation whatsoever with elopements. In fact, many couples choose to not set up an elopement registry at all.
To simplify things, think about the purpose of a wedding gift: to celebrate the newlyweds and give them a little something as they officially start their lives together. Even in an elopement, two people are getting married and starting a new chapter together as one — that certainly calls for a gift!
So whether you’re the couple debating setting up your elopement registry or you know someone who’s eloping and you’re wondering if you should send a gift, the answer is a resounding YES! Let’s dive into some of the ins and outs of elopement gifts.
Why Create a Wedding Registry for Your Elopement?
The biggest reason to create an elopement registry is that your loved ones want to celebrate you and your marriage. A lot of people are genuinely unsure about what the protocol is regarding giving elopement gifts, and creating a registry solves this problem. It allows those who want to give you something to do so without asking what you’d like, and takes any pressure off the people wondering whether they should give a gift or not.
Another big reason to create an elopement registry is that it’s a lovely way to include loved ones from all over the place. Again, people want to celebrate you, and this is a simple way to allow them to do just that, whether you’re inviting guests to your elopement or not.
How to Share Your Elopement Registry
Once you’ve decided to create an elopement registry, the next big consideration is how to go about sharing it. This can be especially tricky if you’re planning to elope and then tell people after the fact, or if you’re not inviting any guests at all. If you’re nervous about asking for elopement gifts or truly concerned that you may offend some people, consider adding a simple message at the top of your registry that says gifts are certainly not expected.
Here are a few ways to share your registry while keeping things light and simple:
If you’re sending out elopement announcements, include a simple card or even just the link to your registry
Add the link somewhere on your wedding website, if you have one (which I highly recommend as a great way to keep loved ones in the loop!)
Send out a group email or text with a short message explaining that some people have asked about elopement gifts so you created a small registry to make things easier on everyone, and include the link
Add the link to your social media profiles
What to Put on Your Elopement Registry
An elopement registry really isn’t much different from a traditional wedding registry, so have fun and try not to overthink it.
The original purpose of registries was to help newlywed couples get a good start on their lives as they moved in together. Today, of course, many couples live together long before they’re married. Even the ones who don’t often come into their marriage with two households full of belongings.
As you decide what to put on your elopement registry, think about what will be the most useful to you as a couple. If you need quality household items, stick to tradition and add items such as dishes, kitchen gadgets, and nice linens. If you have no real use for home goods, think outside the proverbial box and ask yourselves what you’ll get the most out of.
Many couples opt to create honeymoon or vacation funds in lieu of a traditional registry, where guests can contribute money toward a trip. Another alternative that’s similar but doesn’t involve travel is coming up with some unique experiences you’d like to try together in your hometown. For example, you could request couples’ cooking classes, a joint session at a rock climbing gym, or to go off-roading for the day nearby.
The bottom line? Anything that you’ll both enjoy and actually use belongs on your elopement registry, whether it’s something physical or an intangible experience.
Are There Any Gifts Inappropriate for a Wedding Registry?
There really aren’t any elopement gifts that are inappropriate for a registry per se, but it is a good idea to add more affordable options than you might see on a traditional wedding registry.
While eloping isn’t selfish, you may run into one or two people who give you a bit of pushback about not having a “real” wedding but still registering for gifts. Keep that in mind and be sensitive to these potential feelings by adding several smaller options as elopement gifts.
Another option is to make your primary registry item a honeymoon fund or ask for contributions toward an experience, and not setting any sort of minimum. This gives people an easy “out” to gift only what they’re comfortable with.
I hope this guide to elopement registry etiquette and elopement gifts in general is helpful! I’d love to hear your thoughts, as well as answer any elopement-related questions you may have. Please reach out at your convenience, and let’s get started planning your dream elopement!