Elopements vs. Weddings: What’s the Difference?
*Ahh*... an act of love that is a tale as old as time.
You may be familiar with classic stories such as Pride and Prejudice, featuring the scandalous elopement of Lydia and George Wickham, or the secret and illegal elopement of childhood sweethearts, Sir William Wallace and Murron in the courageous tale of Braveheart. In many iconic love stories, running away with your sweetheart to get betrothed in secret is a heart-warming tale most of us cannot resist; making elopements an increasing trend for couples across the world today. However, sometimes it’s challenging to tell the two terms apart. Let’s discuss the difference when comparing elopements vs. weddings.
Elopements vs. Weddings
What is an elopement?
Eloping is the rebellious act of secretly running away to get married, all without parental consent. Historically, couples who chose to elope were shamed and sometimes even criminalized - but don’t worry, times have changed, and eloping isn’t the scandal it used to be - you can even tell your parents about it now!
Today, couples from around the world travel far and wide to celebrate their love in an intimate setting, alone or surrounded by their closest friends and family.
Check out What Does “Elope” Mean for an entire article on this subject!
What is a Wedding?
Traditional weddings differ from elopements often by event size, traditional or cultural practices, location, and much more. Understanding the key differences between the two will help you decide which kind of ceremony best fits you.
Key Differences: Elopements vs. Weddings
Number of people
When comparing elopements vs. weddings, we must consider the number of guests, which commonly ranges from 50 to 200+ people in traditional weddings. This is often due to preference, cultural background, or financial considerations. Less commonly, couples host a micro-wedding, normally including 20 to 50 guests.
Elopements are known for their adventurous themes, usually hosting fewer than 20 guests, unlike their traditional or micro-wedding counterparts. These intimate settings contribute to an atmosphere of exclusivity and intimacy for the couple and the select few who witness the movie-like event.
Values
Elopements often differ from weddings in terms of overall values.
Couples who want a grand and traditional wedding often cherish the presence of their community and enjoy creating a memorable celebration of their union for all to enjoy and remember.
On the other hand, couples who opt for elopement often seek solitary moments, stunning photographs, and immersive experiences that mark the beginning of their lives together.
Amount of Stress
Traditional weddings, often encompassed with many details, can be stressful for any couple. From intricate planning, coordinating with vendors, managing guest expectations, and orchestrating complex events, the pressure can sometimes be a lot. In contrast, elopements, with their intimate nature and smaller guest count, often reduce the bulk of stress that couples experience when planning their union.
(This is not to say elopements are inherently stress-free.)
Personalization
Whether they are hosting an elopement or a traditional wedding, each venue has its own set of regulations that couples need to follow. It's important to work with each vendor to understand what is allowed and what is not allowed when personalizing your potential space and experience. This applies to venues, national parks, private residences, and often even public land. It's crucial to determine the scope of customization before making decisions so you can find the best accommodations to fit your needs.
Venue Options
Weddings come in many different forms, with some ceremonies necessitating specific venues and often requiring ample space to accommodate a large guest list, activities, and special traditions.
Alternatively, elopements provide more flexibility in terms of location. Unlike traditional weddings, elopements are free from many logistical constraints, allowing couples to elope anywhere in the world.
Average Cost
For those who prefer a glamorous and traditional wedding, costs can add up to around $33,000 for rentals, vendors, decorations, food, stationery, attire, makeup, and ceremony-related details. In contrast, elopements can start at around $1,000 and be significantly less expensive than their counterpart.
Check out How Much Should I Budget for an Elopement for more tips on budgeting for your special day!
Time Needed Planning
A traditional wedding requires extensive planning and can take months or even years to complete. Elopements, on the other hand, are much simpler to plan due to a decrease in components and attendees and can be more easily tailored to your personal preferences. For a basic elopement, you only need three things: a time, a place, and an officiant. Whatever additional planning you want to incorporate, is up to each couple.
Authenticity (My personal favorite)
Elopements have evolved significantly, offering a unique, intimate, and intentional wedding experience that's focused entirely on you and your relationship. Unlike traditional weddings, which often come with set expectations, itineraries, vendor management, and more, elopements allow for true authenticity and being in the moment as often as you can.
For those uncomfortable with the spotlight or anxious about crowds, eloping provides a chance to be your authentic self without external pressures. It's about creating a day centered solely on your love, free from anything that doesn't resonate with your true self. Ultimately, both options mark the start of your marriage, but elopements offer a peaceful, intentional, and deeply meaningful way to begin your journey together.
Key Similarities: Elopements vs. Weddings
Loved Ones (potentially)
The difference in the loved ones who attend your special day depends on one question - do you want this day between you and your partner, or do you want your loved ones to share the moment with you?
After you’ve considered this, it’s then up to you how big or small you want your ceremony to be and how many loved ones you want to include.
Check out my free guide to Eloping with Family if this sounds like something you want!
Planning Ahead
The biggest similarity you’ll find when comparing elopements vs. weddings is that each requires you to plan ahead. Whether you want a traditional wedding or a personalized elopement, you’ll need to contact locations, vendors, photographers, and potential guests well in advance to prepare for your big day.
How to Incorporate Traditional Wedding Experiences Into Your Elopement Day
Invite Your Loved Ones
Inviting your loved ones to join you on your special day is one of the best ways to incorporate traditional wedding experiences into your elopement. Whether it’s 1, 2, 10+ people, or even your pet (I highly encourage this!) if they make the experience that much more meaningful, invite them to share this moment with you. There are truly no rules when it comes to your big day.
Have a Reception (before or after)
Consider hosting a reception at a separate time from your elopement. Celebrate leaving on your grand adventure together or when you return home as a married couple.
Throw a Party
Gather your loved ones and sign your marriage licenses, celebrate the return of your elopement, or even throw a post-honeymoon party! The possibilities are endless!
Split Your Day
If you want to have your cake and eat it too (pun intended), splitting the day might be the answer you're looking for. You could plan a fun and private elopement in the morning, spend the day with your new partner, and then come together with your loved ones in the evening for a
Make it a Multi-day Experience
Let’s take “having your cake and eating it” to a higher level with a multi-day-elopement-extravaganza. Plan an elopement in a remote paradise for 2 days, return hydrated, moisturized, and married, to celebrate with your community in a cozy garden venue, and then relax the following day in a reserved lakeside restaurant with the most special people in your life.
Incorporate Your Favorite Wedding Traditions
All in all, this is your day and you can personalize it however you wish. Perhaps you’ve seen traditions that you’ve liked or there’s a tradition in your family you’d like to continue, adding your own flair to your special day is the most important thing when preparing for something that you and your partner will remember forever.
Check out Setting Up a Gift Registry & Throwing a Bachelorette Party for fun ideas to incorporate into your big day!
Is It Best to Elope or to Have a Wedding?
There is no definitive answer to which one is better. It solely depends on your personal preference and which scenarios fit the unique needs of both you and your partner. Remembering that there is not a boundary to stay within when creating your special experience, is important when comparing elopements vs. weddings. The sky's the limit to what you can do to make this an experience to remember.
When it comes to comparing elopements vs. weddings, the choice is entirely personal and depends on the preferences of your relationship. There is no one-size-fits-all answer, as you should create an experience that deeply resonates with your true self and the partner you’ve come to eternally love.
Remember that there are no boundaries when it comes to your special day. Whether you choose to elope or have a traditional wedding, what really matters is the love and commitment between the two of you. So, let your creativity soar and celebrate your love in a way that feels authentic and unforgettable.
Ready to Plan Your Wedding?
Whether you’re planning to elope, have a traditional wedding, or mix and match aspects of the two to make it completely your own - I’m ready to capture your union for the unique and intimate love story that it is. Contact me today, and let’s talk about making this perfect.
Get More Elopement Tips
View Elopement Galleries
Bethany Wolf
