How to Plan a Small and Intimate Wedding

Planning a wedding, big or small, is an adventure that starts with dreaming about your perfect day with your perfect someone. For couples leaning towards the privacy, personalization, and intimate atmosphere of a small wedding, this article is for you! This guide goes over the basics of small weddings, the options couples have, and how you can start planning yours today!

What is Considered a Small Wedding?
What’s the Difference Between a Small Wedding and an Elopement?
How Does a Traditional Wedding Differ from a Small Wedding?
Why Have a Small Wedding?
Who to Invite for an Intimate Wedding
Can I Extend My Guest List Virtually?
How Many Bridesmaids and Groomsmen Should I Include?
How to Have a Small Wedding Without Offending Anyone
How Much Does a Small Wedding Cost?
How to Make an Intimate Wedding Special
Where to Have a Small and Intimate Wedding
How to Create an Intimate Wedding Timeline
Is an Intimate Wedding Right for Me?

What is Considered a Small Wedding?

A small wedding typically hosts 16 to 50 guests and allows for a more personalized experience, with couples often choosing unique venues that cater to a smaller gathering. Most outdoor locations and intimate venues have an average maximum guest count of about 25.

What’s the Difference Between a Small Wedding and an Elopement?

A small wedding typically includes 16 to 50 guests, maintaining traditional elements in an intimate setting. On the other hand, elopements are more private and spontaneous, usually limited to 15 guests or just the couple.

Learn more about eloping!

How Does a Traditional Wedding Differ from a Small Wedding?

A traditional wedding often involves an extended guest count with larger ceremonies and receptions catered to the experience of guests. These weddings tend to be more intricate, with considerations for entertainment, decor, and various vendors that contribute to a bigger celebration. In contrast, small weddings focus on a more condensed and intimate affair, prioritizing meaningful connections and a personalized atmosphere.

Why Have a Small Wedding?

Couples opt for small weddings to prioritize meaningful connections with a select group of loved ones. Small weddings often provide a more relaxed and personal atmosphere, allowing the couple to focus on each other and share the special day with those closest to them. Some benefits of choosing to have a small wedding include:

Personalization

With a limited guest count, couples can focus on the details that cater specifically to their preferences and the preferences of their guests. Small weddings allow couples a more personal and tailored wedding experience, from decor to unique venues.

Meaningful Connections

A small wedding fosters an intimate and close-knit atmosphere that focuses on genuine interactions between the couple and their guests. The smaller scale creates a relaxed environment, encouraging guests to share the couple's joy and celebration personally and authentically.

Who to Invite for an Intimate Wedding

Choosing who to invite means prioritizing close relationships and those who hold significant roles in your life. Consider inviting immediate family members (like your parents, those who may have filled that role, or those closest to you), closest friends, and individuals who have played pivotal roles in your journey as a couple. Intimate weddings are an opportunity to share the special day with those who truly matter and will appreciate being a part of your special day.

Can I Extend My Guest List Virtually?

Yes, extending your guest list virtually is a very thoughtful option! Even with a limited in-person gathering, you can include additional guests virtually. This allows extended friends and family to still be part of your special day. Consider using platforms such as Zoom, YouTube Live, and Facebook Live.

Learn about getting married virtually!

How Many Bridesmaids and Groomsmen Should I Include?

Having a more intimate bridal party is common to maintain a balanced and personal atmosphere. Typically, anywhere from 1 - 4 bridesmaids and groomsmen on each side is common for a small wedding.

How to Have a Small Wedding Without Offending Anyone

Communicate openly and early on. Explain the private nature of your special day early on, expressing your desire and goal for a meaningful and intimate experience. Personalize invitations to reflect the small gathering and convey excitement about sharing this moment with your partner. Reassure friends and family that their presence is valued, and consider celebrating with a broader circle later or even consider inviting them virtually!

Learn more about telling family and friends.

How Much Does a Small Wedding Cost?

Please note that these averages fluctuate and vary by location and vendor, and only represent a ballpark average cost for couples to utilize when budgeting.

Venue — $5,204.41
Catering (for 50) — $1,792.55
Cake — $350
Photographer — $5,000
Officiant — $300
DJ (3 hours) — $515.28
Makeup (4 people) — $388.63
Hair (4 people) — $394.43
Attire — $1,129.89
Florals (nat’l avg) — $760
Bridal bouquet — $250
Bridesmaid bouquet — $80
Boutonniere — $20
Pin-on corsage — $25
Wrist corsage — $30
Reception centerpieces — $120-$600
Flower girl petals — $25
Ceremony structures — $1,500-$4,000
Head table florals — $1,500
Sweetheart table décor — $500
Cake flowers — $150
Flower crown — $100
Total: $15,835.19

How to Make an Intimate Wedding Special

Thoughtful Thank-Yous:

Personally thank each guest for their presence via card or in person, highlighting the significance of their role in your wedding day.

Capture Moments:

Hire a photographer to capture the day and preserve your memories.

Interactive Guestbook:

Set up an interactive guestbook where guests can leave heartfelt messages, advice, or memories. Many unique ideas can be found online, including books, paintings, and photos.

Unique Culinary Experience:

Opt for a specialized menu, whether it's a favorite cuisine, family recipes, or a chef's tasting menu, making the dining experience distinctive.

Post-Wedding Reflection:

Take time for a post-wedding reflection with your spouse, perhaps during a private moment or a brief getaway, to savor the significance of the day.

Where to Have a Small and Intimate Wedding

National Parks

Glacier National Park, Montana
Grand Canyon National Park, Arizona
Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming
Yosemite National Park, California
Zion National Park, Utah

National Forests

Tongass National Forest, Alaska
Gifford Pinchot National Forest, Washington
Coconino National Forest, Arizona
Sierra National Forest, California
White River National Forest, Colorado

Bureau of Land Management

Alabama Hills, California
Grand Staircase Escalante, Utah
Red Rock Canyon, Nevada
Lee Metcalf Wilderness, Montana
San Juan Islands, Washington

Most Expensive Cities for a Small Wedding:

San Francisco, CA : $16,833.64
Miami, FL : $15,392.02
Detroit, MI : $15,069.44
Boston, MA : $14,771.58
Riverside, CA : $13,842.00

Least Expensive Cities for a Small Wedding:

Minneapolis, MN : $6,622.00
Cincinnati, OH : $7,245.57
Raleigh, NC : $8,068.95
Milwaukee, WI : $8,143.73
Charlotte, NC : $8,471.27

Backyard Weddings

Unlike small weddings at venues, backyard weddings often involve more DIY elements, like decor and seating arrangements. The informal setting creates a sense of closeness, allowing couples to exchange vows surrounded by the comfort of their own space and provide a distinct and personal experience for both the couple and their guests.

Backyard Wedding Ideas:

Cozy Seating Arrangements:

Arrange comfortable seating like cushions, blankets, or small sofas for a relaxed and intimate atmosphere.

Cozy Lighting:

Illuminate pathways with candles or string lights to create a romantic ambiance, especially for evening ceremonies. Extend this idea by incorporating bistro lighting or lanterns.

Vertical Gardens:

Use vertical gardens or hanging planters to maximize space and incorporate plants.

Draped Fabric:

Incorporate draped fabric or curtains for an elegant feel.

Intimate Ceremony Space:

Designate a small, intimate space for the ceremony with a focal point, such as an arch, pathway, or a significant tree.

Family-style Dining:

Arrange family-style dining with long tables, round tables, or even picnic-styled dinners, encouraging shared dishes and a sense of togetherness.

How to Create an Intimate Wedding Timeline

Questions to Ask Yourself When Planning

Where exactly do you want to get married?

Remember, there are no hard-and-fast “rules” here, so go all in and pick your dream waterfall destination!

What activities do you want to do on your wedding day?

See above! This is your day and it can look however you want it to, so imagine what the ideal day looks like for you two and start taking actionable steps to put it into motion. Aside from the main attraction (the waterfall!), the sky’s the limit: off-roading, riding in a hot-air balloon, hiking, whitewater rafting… your day, your adventure.

Do you want to invite guests? Or just the two of you?

Just like a “traditional” elopement (as if there’s such a thing!), it’s 100% up to you whether or not you have guests in attendance. If you do decide to invite guests, keep in mind that you may need to choose a location and activities to accommodate some of them.

Do you want someone to officiate your ceremony? Or self-solemnize?

You don’t necessarily need to worry about this from a legal standpoint for a commitment ceremony, so that may help make your decision easier. It is still an important aspect in terms of the logistics and planning, of course, but it’s helpful that you don’t have to worry about the laws regarding officiants or self-solemnization with a commitment ceremony.

5 Stages of Planning An Intimate Wedding

Stage 1: Dream and Brainstorm.

Make it a date night!

Stage 2: Research and Logistics.

Start doing research to see what’s actually feasible. Will you need a permit?

Stage 3: Make choices and start booking.

Narrow down options and book your favorite vendors. At this time, you’ll also need to acquire any permits needed.

Stage 4: Finalize details and get ready.

Confirm everything (twice!) and start prepping to GET MARRIED!

Stage 5: Be present and enjoy!

You planned YOUR perfect day, so relax and take it all in.

Learn more in-depth information with my Elopement Planning Checklist!

Intimate Wedding Timelines

Below, you’ll find two examples of a small wedding timeline. Because there are so many options when planning your wedding or elopement, your timeline will be unique to your day. But, these examples might give you an idea of how you want to spend your special day.

8 - 10am | JEEP/UTV/ATV tour
11am | Back at Airbnb
11am - 2pm | Hair & Makeup/Getting Ready
2:15pm | First Look at Airbnb
10 minute commute to Botanical Gardens
3 - 4pm | Walk through Botanical Gardens
45 minute commute to Lost Dutchman State Park
5pm | Arrive at Lost Dutchman State Park
5:30pm | Ceremony
6 - 6:20pm | Family Portraits
6:20 - 7:10pm | Couples Portraits
7:30 - 9pm | Bonfire at Campsite & Stargazing
9am - 11am | Have breakfast together at your Airbnb
11am - 1pm | Hair + makeup, get ready together at Airbnb cabin in McCarthy
2pm | Leave cabin and drive into Wrangell-St. Elias National Park
2:30 - 4:15pm | Start hike (2.4 miles out and back) and explore the park while stopping to take couples portraits along the way
4:15pm | Choose your ceremony location and freshen up
4:30 - 5pm | Have your ceremony and exchange vows, congrats – you’re married!
5pm | Continue exploring Wrangell-St. Elias and taking couples portraits
6pm | Head back to the trail head, load up, and drive back to your cabin
7pm | Begin preparing dinner together
7:30pm | Share an impromptu first dance to their favorite song while listening to music and sipping champagne as they prepare dinner
8:30pm | Dinner
9:30pm | Hop in the hot tub and enjoy a relaxing soak to round out the end of your elopement day

Is an Intimate Wedding Right for Me?

If you value deep connections and want a more personal experience with each guest, a small wedding can provide just what you’re looking for. If you have budget constraints and want to save on costs, a small wedding allows you to easily personalize details and other aspects. With fewer logistics and details to manage, small weddings can be less stressful and allow couples to enjoy their special day more fully. Ultimately, whether a small and intimate wedding is right for you depends on your values, priorities, and the kind of celebration you see for yourself as a couple.

When it comes to getting married, deciding between a big ceremony and a small and intimate wedding is a choice that reflects the couple and their unique love story. Whether you choose to say your vows surrounded by nature in a national park or create a cozy atmosphere in your own backyard, the beauty of a small wedding is that it allows you to focus on meaningful connections and intimate moments with the people you love most.