Is Eloping Selfish?
If you’re somewhat new to the idea of elopements, you may be asking yourself, “Is eloping selfish?” “Is it wrong to elope?” or even, “Is eloping a sin?”
Alternatively, even if you’ve had your heart set on eloping for some time, you may be hearing similar questions from skeptical family or friends.
So what’s the answer — is eloping selfish?
When you consider all the planning and logistics that go into traditional weddings, it’s easy to understand why more and more couples opt to elope. And is that a bad thing, as long as the happy couple is, well, happy? After all, it’s your marriage. Shouldn’t the official kickoff of your life together happen on your terms?
Let’s dig a bit deeper and find out the answer!
Understanding Elopements
Not so long ago, people really only eloped suddenly and in secret, filling in their loved ones after the fact — if at all. Whatever the circumstances were, they generally weren’t very positive.
Today, eloping looks very different. Many couples elope because they want to tie the knot somewhere epic and meaningful to just the two of them, while others simply wish to skip the stress and “to-do” of bigger, more traditional weddings. It’s rarely a negative thing when couples elope now and in fact, modern-day elopements often even include family and friends!
Before we really dissect the answer to “Is eloping selfish?” it’s important to understand that everyone has their own reasons for doing that…and that’s perfectly okay!
Self-Care or Selfishness?
Is eloping selfish, or is it actually a form of self-care? Your wedding day should be free of stress and drama, and eloping often eliminates both — not just for you, but for everyone involved.
Accommodating other people (and their opinions!) while planning a big wedding can be anxiety-inducing, not to mention all the expenses that come along with it. If you shudder when you imagine planning a traditional wedding, skip the stress and consider eloping.
You Know Best
There’s something to be said about having self-awareness and understanding what’s truly best for you and your fiance. If you know that a traditional wedding truly isn’t “you,” it’s perfectly okay (and not at all selfish) to buck tradition.
It’s Very Literally YOUR Day
You know the old song that goes, “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to?” Well, it’s your wedding day and you’ll elope if you want to!
Seriously, this day marks the beginning of a whole new chapter in your life. I’m not saying that your loved ones’ opinions aren’t important by any means, but at the end of the day, it’s solely your and your partner’s call. You don’t owe anyone else anything, but you DO owe it to yourselves to make sure the first day of your new life together is pretty dang magical.
No Regrets
When you look back on your wedding day, you want every detail to bring a smile to your face. Most importantly, you’ll want to remember the love and adoration you felt for each other that day, not anxiety, stress, or feeling like everything was a blur.
If the only things you really wish to remember about your big day are each other, some beautiful scenery, and a few tender moments, give yourselves permission to elope.
Tips for Telling People You’re Eloping
Eliminating the stress and expense of a traditional wedding may be worth it to you, but keep in mind that others may not necessarily feel the same. Consider the following when you decide to let others know about your elopement.
Share your “why”: Tell others why you’re eloping. When you’re honest about your feelings and concerns, you minimize hurt feelings.
Acknowledge their feelings: Some of your nearest and dearest may still be hurt, especially family members who always envisioned a traditional wedding for you. For the sake of your relationships, listen to their feelings and most importantly, validate them.
Involve them: We briefly touched on it earlier, but it’s perfectly okay (and heck, encouraged!) to involve loved ones in your elopement. It’s wonderful for the engaged couple to have their support, and it’s also the perfect way to squash any bad feelings.
How to Tell Your Family You’re Eloping
Family members and other loved ones may be the ones asking, is eloping selfish? So you’ll need a solid strategy for filling them in a loving, neutral way. Here are some of my favorite tips for telling your nearest and dearest.
Before You Elope…
Engagement party: Invite loved ones to a traditional engagement party, then tell everyone about your elopement then. Remember to share your “why!”
Wedding shopping: Bring loved ones along to go dress shopping or include them when you interview your elopement photographer. By directly including them in your wedding planning, you’ll be showing everyone that no, eloping is NOT selfish!
After You Elope…
Post-wedding party: Just because you’re not having a traditional wedding, doesn’t mean you can’t have a traditional party! Invite loved ones to celebrate your official newlywed status in person.
Post-wedding gifts: Print a bunch of special photos from your elopement and either have individual pictures framed or put them in an album and give them as heartfelt gifts.
So, is Eloping Selfish?
After looking at it from some different perspectives, it’s pretty clear that the answer to “Is eloping selfish?” is a resounding NO. It’s also important to remember that an elopement doesn’t even necessarily have to mean just you and your fiance — there are so many ways to include loved ones, either in person or from afar.
Whatever your personal reasons are for eloping, contact me so we can start planning out your perfect wedding day! I can’t wait to hear from you!
